Why I Can’t Do a Capsule Wardrobe (See also: My dumb first world problem.)

Simplification is all the rage. But it gets kind of complicated.

Capsule Wardrobes are the thing right now. Basically, the idea is to limit yourself to a certain number of versatile clothing items for each season. You wear the same 37 (or so) articles of clothing/shoes in different combinations for 3 months, then pull everything else out of storage and remix your wardrobe for the next season. (That doesn’t include undies/socks, workout clothes, pajamas, etc.) The idea is to only purchase things you love and will work well with things you already have. Given the blog posts and Facebook links I’ve seen on this topic lately, it’s a brand new idea no one’s ever thought of before.

But here’s the thing. The Capsule Wardrobe is supposed to simplify your daily life. And I love that. But switching out clothes from storage every three months? No way. Talk about un-simplifying things.  Let’s be honest. I do good to move my kids’ shoes and clothes out of their closet when they’ve been too small for 3 months. There’s no way I’m going to voluntarily decide to “remix” my own clothes four times a year. Go ahead and think, “that’s not that often.” And then smack yourself. Because remember when Caedmon was having laser treatments every 3 months? Something you have to do every 3 months comes around too fast. Every single time.

It’s also supposed to help simplify your laundry. I don’t know about you, but no matter how many articles of clothing I own, I only wear a certain number of clothes each day. So the laundry burden wouldn’t change for me.

I also wear a lot of the same things in every season. Sure, shorts and sandals are pretty much a summer thing. And a few sweaters are only worn in winter. But jeans? V-neck t-shirts? Boyfriend cardigans? Chucks? Most of my long sleeve shirts? All year. (I’m cold natured…and it’s the same temperature inside all year long.)  So it really wouldn’t do me much good to switch out even half of my 37-ish items every 3 months.

And let’s talk about how many articles of clothing/shoes 37 x 4 actually is. (Not counting your workout clothes, swimwear, undies, and the jeans you wear to paint the living room.) Sure, there are a few that would cross over. Let’s say that you have 10 things you wear all year long or would cross over to multiple seasons. The other 27 items are switched out every 3 months. That’s 118 items. And actually a lot of clothes. At any given time, you’re required to store 81 articles of clothing/shoes. Where are you supposed to put that stuff? It’s not supposed to be in your closet. It’s supposed to be in “storage”. I don’t have that kind of extra space lying around for stuff that could actually fit in my closet.

Sure, I keep things I should get rid of. Just today, I went through my side of the closet and donated quite a few items.  My general rule is that if I didn’t wear it in the past year, it’s gone. And I haven’t been diligent in that the past couple of years. Generally, if I’m buying something new, it’s probably replacing something I’ve gotten rid of or filling a gap. Just for fun, I counted the items in my closet – including a few quality pieces I’ve chosen to hold onto even though I haven’t worn them in a while. I have about 100 items. That officially leaves me 18 items short. Yet I don’t feel the need to run out and buy 18 new things. 

I think the main point in the whole Capsule Wardrobe endeavor is to only buy things you love and will wear a lot. With very few exceptions, I already do that. And I always have. So that means I leave a lot of things on the rack at the store. If I don’t love it, or I don’t see myself wearing it a lot, I don’t buy it. It’s pretty simple. I’ve also been known to visit clothes in the store. If I really like something, I’ll keep going back to it each time I’m in the store…usually waiting for it to go on sale. If I really love it every time I see it, I know it would be a good purchase. If I don’t, I know it might not be the best idea, no matter the price.

If the official Capsule Wardrobe works for you, then by all means, go for it. I get what it’s trying to do. It’s just not my thing.

If boots are made for walkin’, I’m in trouble.

I have the hardest time finding a good pair of boots. First, because I am so picky. Second, because my feet are huge and my legs are skinny. Apparently when you have large feet, you’re supposed to also be much taller than I am and have fat legs. And to add to my dilemma, since I am no longer working in an office, I don’t need dressy boots, I need casual boots. Versatile casual boots.

Sigh.

Did I mention that I’m also indecisive when it comes to shoes? Decisions about paint color for the walls, where to place a comma, how to organize something, or what to substitute in a recipe, I can make. Decisions about shoes, especially boots? Not so much.

Add all that to my tendency to be cheap frugal, and you’ve got a recipe for boot shopping disaster.

Just ask my sisters. Poor Trump and Squirt have received numerous photo texts the last couple of days containing pictures of boots and “Which ones?” or “Do you like these?” They are longsuffering, that’s for sure. But Trump’s “You gonna be a biker mom?” response to one of the photos was not helpful. At all.

I think these are the ones that sparked that little comment.

I actually like them, but they’re a tad too short. See? Picky.

After much agonizing, trying on nearly every pair of boots in four different stores, I bought these.

But I’m not sure they’re right for me.

First, I am not a fan of the “almond toe” that’s so popular right now. I love me some square toe or a real round toe or something more pointy. But the almond toe seems like the designer couldn’t decide between a round toe or a pointy toe. That, I can decide.

Second, the ankle looks much better in the picture than it does on. Basically, they are soft leather and tapered weird so that it looks like you have cankles.

Also, they come all the way up to my knees. I realize that’s a very popular trend, but since when have I been all that trendy? Also, I am afraid they make me look shorter than I already am, and that, I do not need. I can hear Clinton and Stacy in the back of my head talking about proportion and all that jazz. I’m not sure they would approve.

I do, however, love the low heel and the more casual nature of these boots. I like the interest added by the buckles, and they are pretty comfy.

So here are a few pictures for your fashion perusal. Let me know what you think, because I’m seriously contemplating returning them.

(Please excuse the idiotic expression on my face. I was talking to Husband, my photographer, trying not to laugh at how stupid I felt taking pictures of myself in boots in the middle of the kitchen.)

I’m not sure I’m a fan of the bright blue zipper lining in the back, either.

In reality, I’ve about talked myself out of these boots. And via the internet, I am theoretically in love with these from Target that are very similar, and just as tall. But since I can’t try them on, I would have to order them and *hope* I like them once they get here.

 

Yes, I know they look very similar. But the subtle differences are what get me.

Anybody wanna go boot shopping with me? It seems like the only way I’ll ever end up with any. I’m open to suggestions. And I really do want to know what you think of the ones I bought and may possibly return.

Maybe I should just give up and come to the realization that I was never destined to own good boots.

I Found Something

I am thankful for all your advice via text, email, Twitter, and comments regarding my fashion dilemma. It seems that some of you have my same problem. I’m glad. Not that you have the same problem, but that I’m not alone. Your issues don’t seem like such issues when other people have them too.

Long story short (Who am I kidding? Of course this won’t be short.), I was impatient. It’s going to be another week before we will be eating at a restaurant sans child, but I wanted to find something now. I really don’t know why, besides the fact that my to-do list for the coming week is filling up much faster than I’d like.

It wasn’t easy, either. I’m picky. Who would’ve guessed? I’m not so hot on the sleeveless/halter/lots-o-skin-showing clothes. Not because I’m a skinaphobe. Because I’m not phobic. I just don’t like to be frigid. If I was going to be spending my entire time wearing the outfit in the out-of-doors, something sleeveless might be fine. But since most of my eating experiences are in-of-doors kind of times, I don’t think I could swing it. I needed something that either covered my shoulders or would allow me to wear something over it to cover my shoulders and not look stupid.

Whew. Confused yet? Me too.

I was short on time, so I went to the mall, where they were having sort of a sidewalk sale. I checked out several places but didn’t find anything I was in love with. I was sad to walk away from the sale without a huge savings of some sort, but I suppose it was a savings since I didn’t spend any money. And as much as I would’ve liked to have gone up to Francesca’s, I knew there was no way I would have the time.

I was able to swing by Old Navy and found a couple of cute dresses to try on. I had looked online and didn’t remember seeing these particular dresses. I just figured I’d missed them and would find whichever one I decided on to show it to you guys. But then I bought one, brought it home, and have been completely unable to find it on the website. I also checked the maternity area to see if maybe by chance I was a complete idiot and bought a maternity dress. Nope.

(I might still be an idiot, but it’s not a maternity dress.)

I even got the item number off the tag and searched for it. Still couldn’t find it. So I don’t know if I bought a ghost dress that doesn’t actually exist or something from three years ago they were trying to pawn off on some unsuspecting victim. But I like it.

Since I couldn’t find a picture online, I did the next best thing. I hung it on my bedroom door and took a photo. I knew you would want to see it. Because you’re caring like that.

Here’s a closer shot of the design on the bottom.

I know. It’s more skin-y than I really wanted. But I have a tank top I can wear under it if I need to and this shrug in white that I can wear over it to keep my shoulders from getting frostbite. And, I’m going out without a kid pulling on me, so my likelihood of a wardrobe malfunction decreases exponentially. Also, I’ve noticed that this dark, hazy blue color seems to be “in” for the fall. Not that I have to be “in”, but you know.

Now, to see if I can find some jewelry to go with it….

I Need Fashion Advice

Here’s the deal. In the near future, I’m going to go out to dinner with Husband. As in adults only, no looking at the kids’ menu or wondering if the Crayons the restaurant offers have teeth marks in them. And I’d like to have something new.

I’m kind of going for the “hot (or at least moderately good-looking) woman with a little bit of fashion sense out for a nice dinner” look. Not the “I put on my clothes 30 seconds before I walked out the door so I wouldn’t get snot, slobber, or some sort of unidentifiable crust on it before I left” look.

And to make it even more difficult (because I can’t make anything easy), the budget for this new outfit is really small. I’m on an Old Navy/Forever 21 budget for this, not a Gap/Banana Republic budget.

So let me know what you think. Send me your links, and hopefully I’ll get to share with you what I ended up with.

Laundry Issues

Remember my recent laundry issues? Well, it seems that was just the beginning.

The green dress, by the way, is still hanging in the laundry room. I tried Jennifer’s Tide suggestion, and it helped a bit. Enough that I actually wore it as a swimsuit cover-up when we went to the water park, remaining weird yellowish spot and all.

Go ahead, judge me.

I figured it couldn’t get any worse, and everybody would be too busy keeping their kids from drowning to notice.

I washed it and hung it back up in the laundry room until I could find some magic cure on the internet, which I haven’t yet. Probably because I only did one half-hearted search for something like “non-bleach laundry discoloration”, and I think Google had some trouble with it.

Just this past weekend I pulled a pair of my favorite Gap Chino capris out of the dryer and they had pink spots all over them. I didn’t even have the heart to take pictures of it. Again, no bleach had been anywhere near them and I’d even used different laundry detergent this time, ya’ll.

I can’t begin to tell you how depressed I am that my second-favorite pair of Gap capris are now basically ruined. Or “rurnt,” depending on your southern dialect. Especially since I bought them at the Gap Outlet for the amazing low low price of $6.95. Oh yes I did. And yes, I remember the price from when I bought them three years ago, the summer I was a large pregnant woman and got weird looks as I bought “skinny” clothes.

So I guess all of that to say that I’m totally over doing laundry. I will keep washing because, well, I like to have clean underwear. But as for the rest of it, I’m almost afraid it’ll all come out with pink spots. And I loathe paying whatever it is for the detergent when all it’s going to do is mess up my clothes. I’m seriously considering doing what the Duggars (and Jill) do and make my own detergent. I don’t think it could possibly be any worse.

Because if I lose any more nearly-favorite articles of clothing, I might just have a nervous breakdown. And how that would be different from say, a regular Tuesday, I don’t really know, other than I’d be one step closer to having to do laundry even more often than I already do.

And that might just send me even deeper into the crazy. And I don’t see that being good for anybody.

Fashion Emergency

Ok, ya’ll. I need some help. Some advice. Someone to come to my house and just “fix it.”

I bought this dress in green from Old Navy back in the spring. It is a bit out of my comfort zone, as I don’t normally do strappy or sleeveless, but I was determined to step on out there and do something different.

And I did. The three times I wore it.

Why only three times, you ask? First of all, I’m cold-natured and required that the weather be blazin’ hot before I put the thing on. And because the last time I washed it, I somehow ended up with these weird faded-out spots on it. There’s a small one on the left side, but the big ones are right up front. I highly doubt it’s bleach, because I washed it in the gentle cycle with Woolite with the rest of my “nice” clothes. And I didn’t see any damage to any of those.

I’ve since washed it again, hoping it wasn’t an actual fabric discoloration, but to no avail.

So, seeing that I have a dress that I would like to wear but would look really trashy doing so with the nice discolored spots, what should I do?

Seriously, I need some options. I hate to let a good thing go to waste. We all know I’m too cheap for that. And now that I’m out of my fashion comfort zone a bit, I sort of like it.

The One Where I Decide I Need A Personal Shopper

I was perusing my closet the other day to find something cute and trendy to wear. And I found less than zero.

That's right. My closet holds a negative amount of cute clothes right now.

How is that even possible? Well, I'll tell you.

There are a few items in my closet that I have been unable to part with but they are so disgusting they not only cancel out anything that might be even remotely cute, but they surpass it in such a way as to create a cuteness void.

I'm still struggling with that transition from had-to-buy-clothes-for-the-work-dress-code to I'm-a-Mommy-now-and-can-wear-whatever-I-want-because-I'm-the-Mommy. My closet is full of former work clothes that I don't want to wear anymore and Gap t-shirts and jeans because I didn't know what else to buy when I started staying at home.

It's not that I don't want cute clothes. It's not that I don't like them. Because I do, oh, I do. But I have a huge issue when it comes to shopping. Actually a few.

Imagine that.

To spare you a long tirade, I'll put them in list form.

I do love lists.

1. It's so much easier (and more fun!) to buy clothes for Husband and C.

2. My taste is usually better than my checkbook balance.

3. I can't bring myself to pay full price for an article of clothing.

4. "On sale" isn't enough. It must be on sale. I've been known to stalk an item I wanted until it was marked down twice.

Don't judge me.

5. I am extremely picky about how things fit. I have vivid memories of going to war with Mom over my wardrobe at age six. Psycho? Maybe. But after the shoe incedent, she learned to listen to me.

6. If I try it on and like it but don't love it, I usually won't buy it.

7. I usually shop for clothes alone. There's good and bad to that, the good being that I don't have to wait for someone who has to try on the entire store; the bad being that there's no one there to say, "Here, try this on," and, "You look great in that. Buy it. Now."

So due to all that, I've decided that I officially need help. I need someone to shop with me. Someone who can tell me that I absolutely must buy that top because it is adorable and once I wear it I will never want to take it off, who at the same time understands that a girl's got a budget to stick to.

Because there are other people in my house that need to wear clothes too.

At least sometimes.

Go Hogs!

In honor of the Razorbacks' defeat of #1 LSU on Friday, here are a few shots of Chickster wearing his Razorback outfit that Aunt Curly and Uncle Deputy Guy bought for him. Friday was the first time he wore it - maybe considering the season we've had he should've worn it earlier.

First Haircut

As some of you know, Chickster was born with a LOT of hair. So much so, that it still looks like he has a lot of hair, even after 7 weeks of it falling out. But here's the thing - it was very long on the sides and especially the back. Looked too much like a mullet (you know, "Business in the front, party in the back") for me to allow it to go on much longer. So, I took him along to my hair appointment for his very first haircut.

The salon was filled with women on that morning, so he got lots of attention. We are very grateful to Julee for taking care of the overly-long hair, and to the stylist (I think her name was Emily) who played photographer for us.

You Get Weird Looks When...

...obviously pregnant, you walk into a non-maternity clothing store and shop the sale rack.

...you actually purchase something from said sale rack in your normal pre-pregnancy size.

...you are excited about your non-pregnant purchase and tell a friend about it over the phone while still in the store.

Question

Ok, so maybe I've been watching too much of The Office lately, but sadly I have begun to think sort of like Dwight Shrute when it comes to my wonderings. This one comes from a frustrating shopping trip over the weekend.

Question: If horizontal stripes are such a bad thing, then why are half of all maternity tops (and regular tops, for that matter) made with horizontal stripes?

Anyone?...Anyone?

Wrong.

Answer: The fashion industry just wants to make money, so they lure you into buying something you think is cute, then put on at home (in the non-skinny regular mirror)after you've already removed the tags, and realize it makes you look fat. Thus, you never wear the shirt again, yet you can't return it, so you go out and buy another to replace it.

The Shoe Story, Reprinted for Your Enjoyment

Mom discovered the hard way exactly how picky, stubborn, and hard-headed I was when it came to shoes.

When I was about six, she insisted on buying me the ugliest pair of gray “church” shoes I’d ever seen. I hated them. With passion. I can still picture those ugly little shoes like it was yesterday. I did my best to refuse to wear them, even in the shoe store.

My feet were still growing pretty quickly, and I knew it would only be a matter of time before they didn’t fit anymore…but what to do until they got too small? I wasn’t about to wear those hideous things to church, of all places.

I hid them, and hid them well. I put them in the last place I knew Mom would look…her own closet. She had a hamper with off-season and hunting clothes in it, so I dug down about half way and deposited the nasty little gray shoes.

When Sunday rolled around, I denied knowing the location of the ugly shoes, and ended up having to wear my old ones.

Mom continued to look for those shoes, and finally found them a few months later when she went to pull out the winter sweaters. Of course by that time, they were too small. My plan had worked! Genius!

She asked me about it, and I told her very matter-of-factly what I’d done. I probably would’ve gotten a spanking if she’d been able to stop laughing long enough.

I never had to wear ugly shoes again.