Neighborhood Update

It's been a while since I last updated you on the happenings in our neighborhood. In truth, it's because things have been pretty quiet. But here's a quick rundown.

As you know, Non-English Speaking Neighbor moved out, leaving their property to be overtaken by the jungle that was their yard. The city came and mowed a few times, knocking the grass back to a manageable height. Their house is still vacant. There is a fluorescent sign on the window, stating the house was "winterized" by the city, meaning they shut off the water and drained the hot water heater. I think there have been three different realtor signs in the yard over the past several months. I must say, it's been very nice not having to worry about the kids climbing over the fence, throwing rocks and trash at the dog, dealing with their loud parties and general mayhem. I'm not sure I really want anyone to move in back there. That's why today, I was dismayed to find out the house is under contract, and saw signs of life over there. I hope they're good neighbors.

Orange Truck Guy and family moved out. I kind of miss seeing OT Kids playing outside, but take comfort in the fact that there's no giant, noisy, orange truck constantly parked in front of my house. Their house was vacant for a while, then the Party People moved in. They had their first party the night they moved in. The beer bottles that migrate over into our yard after a party get kicked back over into their yard...I'm not quite sure how that happens. Amazingly, they seem to be quiet partiers. At least they haven't been noisy enough for us to feel the need to call the cops on them yet. One note of interest, however. They have an orange car. What are the chances?

Razorback Guy left us too. He's moved closer to where he works, taking his fence-running puppy dog with him. Argus misses Dixie. I miss her too, because she used to exercise Argus by getting him to run up and down the fence while she sat at one end and waited for him to run to the other end and come back. It's pretty quiet over there now. And Argus is pretty bored.


We do have a little excitement going on in the neighborhood. Some new folks moved into the house behind OT Guy's (now Party People's) house, next to NESN's house. They have kids. And a trampoline. I'm sure you can guess how Argus feels about the situation. Our yards aren't very big, and I can guarantee that trampoline takes up probably 80% of their available backyard. The kids are out on the trampoline all the time, and they love playing with a ball while they're jumping. And you know what that means. Tiny yard + trampoline + ball = ball going into neighbor's yard. A lot. I've witnessed the kids climbing over into Party People's yard multiple times in order to retrieve their runaway toy. After all, they only have about 6 inches between the trampoline and the fence, so it can't be difficult. The first time they hop the fence into my yard, they are in for a little surprise in the form of an unhappy me or an unhappy dog. I'm not sure they'll like either. It's just that these kids are Middle School age, and they spend way too much time on the trampoline for their own good. Was that still cool when we were in 7th grade? Seriously. Go play some video games or something.

Our mail is still getting wet in the broken mailbox. Newman doesn't seem to mind shoving the mail into the back of the box in an effort to keep it in there. I can never mail anything out since the flag was broken just after we put up the blasted mailbox, and Newman doesn't pay enough attention to realize the envelope not addressed to me with a fresh stamp on it needs to be sent out. I have purchased a new mailbox, but it is sitting in the laundry room waiting to be installed. It's hard to get motivated to get out there and mess with it when I'm afraid as soon as I do something will happen to it. And this time, I bought a $12 mailbox. Obviously the expensive ones break fairly easily. So if I have to keep replacing them, I'm just going to go the cheap route.

That's really about it. I know you were hoping for more good stories about my crazy neighbors. Winter just seems to keep them inside, I suppose. I'm sure there will be more to report as the weather gets warmer, and hey, maybe I'll even put up the new mailbox.

The Jungle House

Ok, I couldn't resist any longer. I had to share with you the jungle that Non English Speaking Neighbor's house has become. Yes, the city came to mow a few weeks ago, but they didn't edge. So the grass around the trees, fence, and house is getting ever taller. The trees are starting to literally come through our fence because they have branches basically from the ground up - they were never trimmed or maintained. Surprise, surprise.

The illustrious real estate agent who has the house listed obviously doesn't care much about the condition of the house either. You'd think they would want their commissions, and would want to sell it. Who knows what it looks like on the inside. I'm afraid to find out.

Realizing that all of this seems a bit surreal for an otherwise quiet neighborhood, I decided to post a few pictures that I took last night. Here it is in all its glory, folks. I give you...The Jungle House.

Exhibit A: The Overview

This vantage point is basically peeking over the fence straight behind our back door. You can clearly see that the grass has gone crazy again, and the part that wasn't edged close to the house has continued to grow monstrously tall. Please take note of the screen that is falling off the window on the right, the barely visible path that was once made out of gray rocks (that are now scattered along the back fence and my back yard), and the high quality deck furniture that was left behind. I'm surprised the satellite dish is still there - you'd think they would have wanted to take that with them.

Exhibit B: The Dog's Eye View

This is what my dogs see when they peek through the fence. Grass that is taller than they are. And who knows what may be crawling around in that grass. It's a mystery they would love to explore. I'm happy for it to remain unknown.



Exhibit C: The Trees

Ah, the trees. The trees that having been left unkempt, are sticking their tentacled branches through the slats in our fence in an effort to escape their jungle. The trees that are now tall enough to actually block some of the view from our back door to NESN's back door. The trees that actually provide a nice patch of shade in our yard late in the afternoon. Also notice the square patio-like area on the left made out of leftover brick and quickrete. While this totally looks like something NESN might have fashioned, it would require way too much work for him to have actually done it. No, this fine handiwork was done by the people who owned the house before - the neighbors we totally took for granted since they lived like civilized beings and minded their own business. Also note the infant exersaucer-type contraption on the aforementioned patio. Yeah, this definitely belongs to NESN and has actually been in just about the same spot for nearly a year.

Exhibit D: The Contraption

First of all, yes, that is grass that is taller than our privacy fence. Secondly, please note the clothesline-like contraption. Now, those posts were already in the yard when NESN moved in - the regular people had a really nice hammock they'd installed on the posts. NESN decided to use said posts for a clothesline. He also tied a clothesline to two of the fenceposts down the side of the fence - I guess the original wasn't enough space for him. But he didn't bother to hang either line high enough to keep the clothes off the ground. Not only does the line already dip pretty low, it dips even lower when it's loaded with clothes. So the clean clothes were constantly meeting with the grass (that, let's face it, has always been tall), thus making them dirty clothes before they were even worn.

If you look closely, you can see what was once a raised garden of sorts, again, left behind by the normal neighbors. Obviously, maintaining it was nowhere on NESN's list of priorities, and neither was dismantling it. So it has grown wild for the past two years or so, and the plants and herbs that were once lovingly cared for have either died or gone wild.

So there it is. I didn't even venture around to the front yard during my photo shoot last night. The normal folks left some pretty nice flower beds that are now totally overgrown and pretty scary looking. What was once a nicely landscaped yard (well, save the bizarre brick and quickrete patio) has been allowed to morph into a wild habitat. With a bit of sweat equity, it could be nice again. It has "good bones," as they say. Right now it just looks more like it belongs in a third world country instead of a suburban neighborhood. And it just happens to be right behind my house.

Please, somebody normal buy this place!

Tattletale

Ok, so I'm a tattletale. But is it really tattling if...yes, it is still tattling, I suppose. But I did it anyway.

Since Non-English Speaking Neighbors have somewhat vacated their house (and I say 'somewhat' because they seem to come back randomly, maybe to cart off more stuff - who knows), nothing has been touched on the property. It cracks me up that the blinds haven't been moved from their half-open, slightly askew positions in weeks. Not even the listing Real Estate Agent has bothered to straighten them up.

That being said, it should be a given that they haven't mowed the yard. Heck, I don't know if they mowed it any this spring before they moved out. So, the grass in their backyard grew to about waist high. I'm not sure about the front, as I have not ventured around to take a look. But what I do know is this: I don't think that waist-high grass is beneficial to anyone. I certainly don't want the things that are attracted by tall grass to migrate into my yard and meet up with my dogs. That's not likely to be good for anyone.

So, being the kind person I am, I called the City. I wasn't sure if there was a code in place that would cover this issue, but by golly I was going to find out. Of course, I had to leave a message in the Code Enforcement office, and thought it would be days before I received a return call, if at all. I was wrong. A very sweet lady called me back about an hour later, and informed me that there was indeed a code to cover such a thing. She explained how the whole thing works, took the address, and told me that even if foreclosure was in process the legal owner (who still happens to be NESN) is still responsible for maintenance on the property. Great.

Obviously they care enough to treat the house and yard with the very best, so I could only imagine how they would remedy the problem of the jungle grass. I could just see coming home to find a herd of goats nibbling away at anything and everything sitting still. Wouldn't that be a treat? (I might could stand it if they were like the 'Aflac' goat and could talk.) Or maybe when we least expected it (like at 9pm), we'd hear the roar of the lawn mower; but only in 30-second spurts since his favorite mowing method is one small strip at a time. What a giant leap for mankind that would be.

And then it happened. While Husband was at home just a day or two after I called the City to complain, he actually witnessed the mowing taking place. What was even more spectacular was that it was done all at once, during the day, by an individual who seemed to actually know what he was doing. Husband heard the mower and took a peek to see what was going on. There was an older gentleman on a riding mower dutifully chopping away at the grass bent on world domination. His wife (or who Husband assumed to be the man's wife) hung out on the back porch and supervised. Not only was this very exciting because the jungle grass was being put in its place, but it ignited a spark of hope. Maybe it's possible that we can have some normal neighbors back there again. Husband was tempted to go ask them if they were buying the house, but was afraid his hopes and dreams might be crushed if he heard that they were just there to mow.

So maybe the hopes of normal neighbors was a little premature, but at least the jungle grass is gone - for now. And we won't have to just strive to keep the jungle creatures that I'm sure were hiding back there away from the dogs. I'd rather not have to wrestle a giant rodent from the jaws of a small but very strong and determined dog. Again.

Neighbor Update

It's been a while since I updated everyone on the comings and goings of the neighborhood. Shall we?

Razorback Fan is still with us. He tried to sell his house for months, and being just about the only house for sale in the entire neighborhood, had very little luck. So he gave up, got out of the contract he had on his new house and has stayed where he is. Meanwhile, there are now three other houses on our street, and about 10 total in our neighborhood for sale. Bad timing, Razorback Fan...perhaps some of the team's bad timing has rubbed off on you.

Orange Truck Guy and Girl and OTKids are still around too. They play outside quite a bit, much to Argus' dismay. It's fun to see the kids outside with sidewalk chalk when we come home in the afternoons, or chasing each other up and down the driveway on her pink bike with training wheels and his little red tricycle. Of course, their outdoorsyness becomes much to our dismay as well when they decide to use our front yard for their field of play, whether it be football, chase, or soccer. They don't bother anything, but it really drives Husband batty for them to be all up in our front yard and driveway without permission. Kinda bugs me too, but short of going out and fussing at them, I'm not quite sure what to do. When they're in the front yard, we do allow Argus to bark at them all he wants. Not quite the action we would prefer, but annoying, none the less.

Non English Speaking Neighbors...where to begin? That's what you really want to hear about, isn't it? I'll try to remember everything that's gone on since my last update, but I'm sure I'll leave something out. They've mainly been up to their normal, completely annoying habits. You know, living outside, never closing their back door or windows (so that we can revel in the joy of their everyday lives), letting their kids do whatever they want. Including, but not limited to, poking sticks and long strands of grass thru the fence at the dogs, and throwing rocks at and over the fence at the dogs while screaming "Dog! Dog!" in their native language. Oh, and the trash. Apparently they've filled their own yard with trash to the point that it's overflowing, because we've had quite a bit of it end up in our yard lately. And some toys too - at least I suspect the toys belong to them. No way to know for sure, because they won't ask for them back. But OTKids usually come over within 3.7 seconds to get their toys back when they come over the fence, so I'm guessing these others belong to NESN.

I've caught them in the act a few times lately - actually in the process of banging on the fence to get the dogs to come over, yelling at them, then poking something at them or throwing rocks at them. Of course, being the kind, English-speaking person that I am, I yelled at them in a language they are completely oblivious to. They just stared at me through the cracks in the fence like I had 3 heads or something. One day, I noticed the older kid outside with them - the one that speaks English and loves to climb fences and play outside naked...anyway, I stood on the gas meter (sorry, gas company), got his attention, and told him I didn't appreciate the little ones throwing stuff into my yard, and would he please ask them to stop. He understood me - at least he said he did, and then said something to the little kids. It was probably something like, "She likes it - throw more rocks."

But all of a sudden in the past couple of weeks, they got very quiet. At first, we just counted our blessings that the dogs could be outside without rocks and refuse raining down on them. Then, we held our breath, waiting for the shower of trash to begin again. Then, I finally decided that they'd started playing out in the front yard with the other neighborhood kids on their street. Or that maybe somebody got a fat clue and put a stop to the rock tossing contests. Wrong, all wrong.

I found out this past weekend from a little round-ish man with white hair carrying a clipboard, camera, and measuring tape that their house is in the process of being repossessed. He was there checking the place out on behalf of the mortgage company. That news comes with mixed feelings. First, elation, because the NESNs are gone, and I won't have to worry about them throwing their half-crushed Coke cans and millions of gray rocks into my yard anymore. Then fear, because who knows who the mortgage company will sell the house to? Hopefully they'll at least speak English so that if they decide to live in their back yard, leave their windows and doors open for the world to hear their life, keep livestock, have annoyingly loud parties late into the night, allow their children to play naked in the yard, train for the shot-put with tons of gray rocks, learn their aiming skills by poking things through the fence, and are just generally annoying, I can at least talk to them about it.

Miracle Explained

I knew there had to be an explanation for the lawn mowing done by NESN last week. It must've been their new realtor. You see, ever since they moved in, they've had their house for sale. Through about three or four different realtors. The previous company's sign had already come down, and so I wondered what in the world might motivate them to actually mow. So, I drove by the other day and there's a new realty sign in the yard. I'm guessing (and quite pleased) that this new realtor made them clean things up a bit as a condition of their listing agreement. Now, if they could only sell it.

Somebody please buy this house!

Miracle of Miracles and Wonder of Wonders

Today, yes, this very day, Non-English Speaking Neighbors actually mowed and even edged their entire yard. First time all summer. Actually, probably first time all year. Of course, it was so cool yesterday that he wore jeans and a hoodie sweatshirt to do it. It's about stinking time.

Mice...The Saga Continues

Ok, so the last few days, Criket has been continually obsessed with something underneath the A/C unit again. I have never been able to spot anything under there. She digs little holes big enough to stick her head under there, and circles it continuously. Figuring that it wasn't anything to be too concerned about, I let her have her fun. I mean, she gets a kick out of it...why should I make her stop just because her head gets dirty?

My interest picked up after Argus started stalking the A/C unit too. He doesn't have the same hunt drive that Criket does, but he's still a Jack Russell. I figured maybe they'd cornered a relative of the enormous rodent that visited us not too long ago. But I don't think that's what it was.

Last night, Argus had been outside for a long time, and I went to check on him. I found him sitting on the other side of the A/C unit, staring at the ground. I went over to investigate...and being the dumb human I am, I couldn't see or hear anything. The spot he was staring at was the corner where the fence meets the house where there was a small pile of old grass clippings. The rest of our fence has a hotwire around it to keep the dogs from climbing over/digging under the fence; therefore, the dogs won't get close to the fence. But when I showed him that there was no hotwire there, he moved in.

Criket pounced on the pile of grass and mice scattered everywhere. It was grown-up mice and baby mice. They scattered in all directions at once, squeaking like crazy. The dogs were so overwhelmed by mice running everywhere, they didn't now which one to chase. From the look on Argus' face, I thought his head would explode.

Of course, one or more of the mice ran up under the A/C unit that was so conveniently close. The others scattered all across the yard - into the front yard, the neighbor's yard, and who knows where else. Criket spent the next little while tracking them. Argus spent that time following her around, hoping she'd find something for him to chase. After 20 minutes, I drug them both in the house. They were panting like crazy since it was 100+ degrees outside. And I had to go somewhere.

I don't know what has caused our yard to be such a haven for rodents, especially since we have two Jack Russells that patrol the yard at all hours of the day and night. Maybe it has something to do with the hot, dry conditions. Maybe it's Non-English Speaking Neighbor's affinity for tall grass. Whatever it is, I've about had enough of it.

Naked or Nekkid?

I debated on whether or not to even make this post. And obviously decided to just put it out there and just see what happens. So here goes.

I’ve always heard it said that “naked” is when you don’t have clothes on, and “nekkid” is when you don’t have clothes on and you’re doing something that maybe you shouldn’t. I think I saw something the other day that could qualify as “nekkid.”

It was a Saturday. Husband and I had walked the dogs a good two miles or so to burn off some of their energy. We’d made our way home and were spending some time being lazy. Something caught Argus’ attention in the backyard, and the barking commenced. Husband peeked through the blinds to see what was going on.

Now, I know that most of you know this. But a “privacy fence” isn’t exactly “private.” No matter how new/old the fence is, there are small cracks between the boards, and especially from far away, you can see through the fence. Not in detail, mind you, but you can tell what’s going on.

So peeking thru the blinds, Husband says, “It’s the neighbor kid. He’s playing in the water.” (Meaning Non-English Speaking Neighbor’s kid.) “Looks like he’s putting water in one of those drinking fountain jugs and pouring it on himself.” Wow. Entertainment at its finest. And then, with a little trepidation in his voice, I heard, “And I think he’s naked.”

“What? Naked? In the back yard? Right now?” I didn’t even want to get up and look. A chicken I have to see. A naked kid I do not. Especially one that's old enough to know better. So we spent the next few minutes wondering if we should call someone…if it was legal…if we would get in trouble somehow for knowing there was a naked kid in his backyard. And then we thought of the other neighbors…what about Orange Truck kids? Wow…I’m pretty sure OTGuy and OTGirl would NOT be happy if OTK#1 (who happens to be female) were to point out what was going on in the neighbor’s yard. And NESN’s new next-door neighbors have small kids too…I can just imagine that conversation. New to the neighborhood, just getting to know people, and finding out the neighbor’s kid plays naked in the yard. Wow.

We finally got Argus in the house and made him stay inside for a while. But when nature calls…you have to let him back out. So about an hour later, we had no choice but to let him back outside. After he’d done his business and commenced his barking again, I had to go outside and physically drag the dog back inside. And NESN’s kid was still outside, naked as a jaybird, playing in the water. And not only was he playing in the water, he was playing on a slip-n-slide type contraption. I didn’t actually see anything, you people with dirty minds. But it was while I was out there that he had what I’m assuming is an argument with the lady I call “Granny.” She was, from the sound of her voice, telling him to do something, and he was very loudly telling her he wasn’t going to do it. Now, I can’t say that for sure because they don’t speak English, but I’m pretty sure that’s what was going on.

So let’s analyze this. 10-ish year old kid (who was definitely old enough to know better), playing in the yard, in the water, with no clothes on, for a stinking long time. And arguing with Granny.

Yep, that was most definitely “nekkid.”

Chicken Dance

Picture it…a peaceful summer evening; unseasonably cool with a slight breeze, the sun setting on the horizon – just starting to get dark enough for kids to consider coming inside for the evening. The grass is starting to feel damp, with dew already beginning to form. Lightning bugs are starting to come out, spreading their yellow-green staccatos of light around the yard. And the sounds of a frightened chicken, squawking like crazy in the neighbor’s yard.

Yes, I said a chicken.

Non-English Speaking Neighbors are up to their old tricks again. It was party night at NESN’s house. They were doing it right; the guys out front with music blasting; the women, children, and chicken in the back, having a good ol’ time.

This, of course, was brought to my attention by my beloved dogs, who were losing their minds (along with every other dog on the street) due to the chicken being chased by a small child in the next yard. At first, I couldn’t believe my ears. I really had to stand there and listen for a few minutes in order to really grasp the fact that there was, indeed, a chicken in my neighbor’s yard. And that the very same toddler who enjoys sticking his fingers through the fence at my dogs was gleefully chasing said chicken around the yard. The kid was squealing with delight. The chicken…was not.

It took a feat of strength and swiftness to get the dogs in the house with a chicken freaking out on the other side of the fence. And once I got them securely locked in, being the great neighbor that I am, what did I do? That’s right, I called the Police. Don’t get me wrong…have a great time with your friends. But don’t bring a live chicken to the party. I asked the dispatcher if it was legal to have a chicken in your backyard in the city. She answered in the negative (probably trying to keep from laughing at me) and said she’d gladly transfer me over to Animal Control…where I could leave a voicemail and they’d call me the next day.

At this point, I was more than annoyed…I was good and angry. Which, I was reminded of the next morning when the Animal Control officer called and said he couldn’t understand half my message. He kindly took all the details and said he would go by the house and talk to NESN. But at this point, I knew it would be in vain.

In the midst of the chicken battle the night before, I pulled out the camera. I really wanted to snap a photo of said chicken. Sadly, the party went on for a very long time. I thought I could wait them out, but because I’m a responsible person and had to go to work the next day, I went to bed. Plus, my camera doesn’t have night-vision, so I would have had to use the flash…and that wouldn’t have been good. I even went out the next morning and looked for it. I didn’t see it…of course, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t there – there are plenty of places for a chicken to nestle down in NESN’s back yard.

Let’s just hope the chicken was just a ‘party animal’ and won’t be coming back. Ever.