He Has No Idea What We’re Getting Him Into

The journey to parenthood was a long one for us. Not as long as some others’, but still much longer and more complicated than we’d imagined as a newly-married couple on the “four year plan.” Maybe I’ll share more details about that someday. (By the way, I don’t know anyone who was on the “four year plan” where it actually worked out that way. Ours turned into a “9 1/2 year plan”.)

A little over three years after becoming parents, life is different. In such a good way that I can’t even explain it. People always say, “It’ll change your life” and that sounds so cliché. Because it is. But it’s also true.

Being a parent is so cool and so frightening at the same time. You have to take two tests (and pass) to drive a car. There’s no real test for becoming a parent; for bringing another human life into the world and being responsible for their care and well-being for 18 years, then worrying and fussing over them for the rest of your life. They let you have a baby and just leave the hospital with it a mere day or two later. When we came home with Caedmon, I remember looking at Husband and saying, “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” It was a little late to turn back at that point. Not that we wanted to. It was just scary. And awesome.

Becoming a (stay at home) mom was a big adjustment for me. The hardest part wasn’t taking care of Caedmon or the house. It was finding my new identity as a person who didn’t get up and go to work every day, who might not see another adult (besides Husband) for days at a time, and rarely had the satisfaction of actually checking a task off my list and it staying that way. And learning to balance all these new responsibilities I had – to Husband, to Caedmon, to myself, and most of all, to God.

Being Mom is the best thing ever. Yes, I grow weary of the day-to-day stuff. Sometimes I could swear that I pick up, step over, or accidentally kick the same toy 87 times in one day. I answer the same questions over and over again. I sound like a broken record. I say things that make perfect sense to me, but to a random outsider would sound completely insane. But I also get lots of hugs and kisses. Lots of smiles and “Tanks, Momma” and being humbled that my boy is healthy, happy, smart, and so completely adorable that I have no idea how I am so blessed. Every time I look into Caedmon’s eyes, I see much more than his beautiful blue-green peepers. I see hope. Joy. Wonder. Curiosity. Enthusiasm. I see Husband. I see myself. And I see the work of God. For without Him, I wouldn’t be holding Caedmon and would not have the blessing of being called, “Mooommmmaaaaa!” at 3am.

So, we decided to do it again. I wish it were that easy. But it wasn’t. Nothing in life is as easy as we think it should be. God took us on another journey…one that lasted almost exactly two years. And I can’t say that it’s really over yet, we’re just in a different phase. Baby #2, set to arrive at the end of April, 2011, will be all the more precious for it.

Caedmon’s going to be a big brother, ya’ll. He has no idea what we’re getting him into. Some days, I don’t think we do, either.