It’s On Like Donkey Kong

*Disclaimer: If you don’t like the word “poop” or “pee” and don’t want to know what potty training is really like, click away. Quickly.*

Well, this is it. We’re hard-core potty training now.

Can you feel the excitement? It’s oozing from every pore of my body.

Ugh.

Monday morning, Caedmon got up asking to wear undies. Nothing unique about that. But he kept them dry all day except for when I put him in a diaper to go to the grocery store & for a nap. Tuesday morning he also wanted to wear undies. And after our successful “#2 trip” a few days before, I decided it was time to take the bull by the horns and conquer this thing.

I am an idiot.

Tuesday morning by 9am, we were on our third pair of undies and I was rethinking my original plan to not worry about this until he goes to kindergarten. But we pressed on. Through two more pair of underwear before bath time.

I think the problem is that he just gets busy and forgets he’s supposed to go potty until…OOPS! So that can be remedied, but I know it will take some time. But by Tuesday afternoon, Caedmon was fussing when I would make him go to the potty. He didn’t want to go to the potty. He didn’t want to miss what was going on.

I made a big deal about him letting me know he needed to use the potty when he wakes up. Because we all need to pee when we wake up, so I figured I’d teach him to holler when he wakes, I’d get him, we’d go, no big deal.

Again, I am an idiot.

Caedmon was in his bed nearly 2 hours on Tuesday before he actually went to sleep for his naptime. Why? Because he was busy crying wolf. Or pee pee, as it were. I wanted him to understand that he didn’t get to get up and play, but that going to the potty to actually use it was fine. He got up three times, peed twice. At bedtime, he stayed awake a long time and yelled to go pee once – and actually did.

As I was doing a load of laundry Tuesday night filled with adorable little underwear, I decided that I am not above bribery. Of the chocolate variety. M&Ms, here we come. (I wonder how many kids have been potty trained thanks to those candy-coated pieces that melt in your mouth and not in your hand?)

Wednesday morning, Caedmon woke up at 5:45am (apparently there’s one of those in the morning) yelling to go pee. I think the yelling and trip to the potty was pretty much an afterthought, because his diaper was wet and not “just got peed in” warm. The most tragic thing was that nobody went back to sleep.

After we got up and I was finally able to wake up enough to pretend to be alive, I introduced the “go #1, get 1; go #2, get 2” policy. Caedmon was all about it. He actually stood in the bathroom for a minute or two and admired the clear plastic bowl (with a lid) of M&Ms. And even though he spent quite a while at the church nursery on Wednesday, he only had one accident all day.

He did, however, mooch the M&Ms for all they were worth. Naptime was again a time of playing in the bed, yelling to go potty and maybe or maybe not actually going. Once, he literally squeezed out three drops of pee and asked for an M&M. I gave him one. At this point, anything in the potty is good enough for me, even if it is three drops. We were, however, highly unsuccessful at the poop trip. He kept telling me he needed to poop, but could never make it happen. That, combined with the fact that he was out of bed for the third time during his naptime, finally resulted in me just putting him back to bed. And he ended up going in his diaper. He actually prefers that anyway, but I’m kind of over it. Especially after attempting yet again to return the crib of insanity – unsuccessfully. (More on that later.)

The evening was good, though. We had one close call (but no accidents!) and at one point Caedmon earned three M&M’s at once. *wink wink* And then when I put him to bed, he proceeded to play around, goof off, and ask to go potty three more times. I honestly don’t know how he was still awake, having woken up before the sun. He finally ended up asleep a little over an hour after we put him to bed.

So we’ll see what today brings. We should be in for an easy morning because we’re planning on going swimming. And if you can’t have fun peeing in the pool, when can you?

If you have any hints, suggestions, or tips, let me know. And if your kid was potty trained in one day and never had an accident, please keep that to yourself.