Monday, October 19, 2009

The Milestones…They Are Killing Me

It’s time. For a lot of things around here. Now that Caedmon has turned two, it’s time to get crackin’ on several “growing up” things.

And. I. Don’t. Want. To.

Remember a few months back when I talked about taking Caedmon’s paci away from him? Yeah…we still haven’t done that yet. I kept telling myself we didn’t need to do that until after our vacation so as to make life easier for everyone. And guess what…it’s after our vacation.

And though he wasn’t highly addicted to his bah, he has sort of become that way in the past few months. He now asks for it during the day when he’s watching TV. He will beg to get into his bed (since that’s the only place he can have it), watch George, and even wants the light turned off. And when I tell him he can’t have it? Meltdown. Of the nuclear variety.

I’m no chicken, so the screaming fits don’t bother me, except that I just don’t want to deal with them. So far, the weaning hasn’t gone so well. I’m seriously considering the cutting the tip off trick, but I don’t know if it will work for him – he doesn’t care if his paci “works” or not.

And? He’s one of the few kids in his class now that is still in a crib. I’ve had no need to push him into a “big bed,” so I haven’t. But I realize that the time is quickly approaching. I absolutely dread the bedtime battles that will be inevitable. The boy loves his bed, so I hesitate to mess with a good thing. I may not move him until he’s able to form the sentence, “Mom, I feel like a complete loser because I still sleep in a crib,” and at the rate he’s going, it might not be until he’s five. That won’t scar him for life, will it?

And don’t forget about potty training. I really want to wait until he’s totally ready. And he’s not quite there yet, but it won’t be long. He’s learned to recognize when he’s “going,” and occasionally tells me. And he asks to sit on the potty now and then. Oh, and if he sees his undies in the drawer, it’s over…he begs to put them on. And then subsequently pees in them, of course. I’m just not ready for that yet.

So, all of that to say…does anybody have any brilliant ideas? Suggestions? Just please don’t tell me to do them all at once.

Better yet, does anybody want to come do this stuff for me? There’d be no money involved, but love and appreciation is priceless. Isn’t it?

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  1. Amy Schiller8:00 AM

    Maybe do the bed first?? Having the paci in his new bed might be comforting and make that transition smoother. And it may not be a big deal to him...both my kids switched to big kid beds with no sleep disruptions, fits, etc. Once he's used to that then do the paci. What about just conveniently losing them? Lose one everyday til they're all gone. Then just tell him you can't find any. Let him look for them so he knows they're not there. This is how Avenly went off her paci at 9ish months old only it wasn't on purpose. We actually had lost them all. She cried for awhile that night before finally passing out. But then I just decided not to go buy anymore and she got over it. As for potty training....with Ethan we uses the naked method and he was trained by 28 months. Gotta run but let me know if you want details on that later. Hope some of that helps!!!

  2. Oh I love that you chicken out on stuff too! :) I had all intentions of "breaking" the paci at our house over the summer but just never got around to it....Ethan will be 2 on November 4th, so I like you think maybe it's time. He only has it at bedtime and naptime and just like C has started crawling into his bed with this Humpty and yelling at me from the other end of the house....."Momma, Mommma, I need PAAAAAAAAAAAA" needless to say this is not a battle I'm looking forward to as he is quite the strong willed little dude. I guess we'll face this one together!

    I DON'T recommend you do all of these at once, unless of course you would like an admission card to the looney bin, for both you and C, and probably Chris as well! :)

    Potty Training boys is harder than girls, if he's curious let him be curious but wait until you are ready to commit to at least a week of hard core,house bound training. Emma was 2 and 1/2 before she was trained. As for the bed, I would say get rid of the crib and try a toddler bed or we use a twin bed on top of the bed rails with plywood underneath, still low enough to the ground to be safe but then you aren't spending $$ on a Toddler bed he will only use for a little while. KEEP your pack n play, if he really gives you a hard time put him back in that for a while (few weeks) and then try again. A Baby gate at the door does WONDERS....and keep in mind that if he does cry himself to sleep on the floor next to the baby gate a night or two it's not the end of the world. Good book to get is "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber. It has some good points in it.

    GOOD LUCK! I've learned that stuff happens with trial and error...if you happen to "error" it won't scar him for life! :)

  3. This is just my advice as the mom of 2 boys who at ages 10 & 15 still don't use a paci, sleep in a crib, or poop their pants... With my first- I pushed every milestone. I thought if "the books" said to get them off the bottle at 1, then by golly that's what I had to do. I did and it was awful. Then, I moved him to a big boy bed at 2, that's when he started sleeping with us, because after the 100th time of getting out of his bed, it was just easier to let him get in ours. Let's see, then I thought he HAD to be potty trained by the time he was 3. We spent weeks in the bathroom. Never being able to go anywhere AND he still wasn't trained. I think I traumatized him because he peed the bed until he was...well, let's just say older than most.
    Okay, so #2 comes alog 5 years later and I decided who really cares if he takes a paci, I mean BOTH me and my husband had to have's highly likely our kids will too(and they did/do). So, at 3 years old, #2 still took a paci, slept in his crib, and used diapers. We cut the tips off his pacis, and he just held the plastic over his mouth- it was hilarious. Did I mention he slept with 3 of them?-yeah, one in his mouth and 1 in each hand! One day, he said "I big boy. I no need paci no more". Not much longer after that, we converted his crib to a toddler bed. He loved is crib/bed so much he never tried to get out. Then within a few months, he wanted to wear big boys pants, like bubba. So, within 4-6 months he had done the 3 biggies. It was SO much more pleasant than with #1. I would definitely NOT recommend doing them all at once. Take it one at a time. Use your judgement and his cues and remember- this is a short phase of his life. It will be long passed and you will barely remember how frustrating it is. I know it's hard to believe in the midst of the meltdowns, tears, and fits- but it's true.
    We now have our little #3...being a girl she may be different, but I'm not rushing anything with her either. They don't stay little very long.

  4. You have gotten some good advice from your friends. Definitely wait until next spring or summer for the potty training unless he just forces your hand this winter. As long as some child care situation isn't forcing your hand...I'd wait. I like the paci "loosing" approach. Lose one...make a deal of searching for it...get the one out of the cabinet that he knows is there...and make sure you really get rid of the paci's because he probably has the "trash-searching" gene passed on from his Papa Duke. He hasn't ever even taken a nap lying on your bed, has he? So he doesn't know he can sleep anywhere else in the world - other than his crib or a pack and play... He is smart...make sure he is around when you break the crib down and turn it into a toddler bed...maybe that will help.

  5. When Jonathan was turning 2, Avery was arriving, so I didn't push any of that stuff with him right at his 2nd birthday. We started trying to potty train at about 2 and 3 months, but it took another NINE months (and some drastic measures) before he was actually potty trained.
    He was close to 2 1/2 when we took his paci away. We got down his picture album and looked through it and talked about how he was a tiny baby and now he has grown and grown. We looked at the pics of him with a paci and talked about how that was for babys, and we talked about how when he gets too big for his baby things we put them in the attic. Then we gathered them all up and put them in a bag and put them in the attic together (we had a walk in attic). It was not a fun night, and I honestly think that he would still take a paci if I would let him. He mentioned it not too long ago, and knows that they are in the attic even though we live in a different house now. I just wasn't brave enough to throw them away or anything like that, but I didn't ever go get them back out.
    He has always loved his bed too, so we didn't take the rails off of his crib until we had to because he was actually potty trained and was having accidents because he couldn't get to the bathroom. He will not climb out of a crib even now. He was older than 3 when that happened, and yes he does get out of his bed at night a lot. I would wait on that as long as humanly possible, unless C is climbing out on his own anyway. At that point I don't see it making much difference.

  6. Great advice above. Don't push anything until you KNOW he is capable of understanding what he is doing. I am speaking mostly about potty training. Charles will be 3 in 11 days and he is pretty close to fully trained. We deal with poop accidents the most and have many weeks where he is accident free and then (like now) we are having multiple accidents. When he can actually stay seated on the potty and wait to go he is ready. The hardest part for Charles was understanding that we need to go before he wet his pants, because in a diaper we changed him after he went. He said, Mommy I haven't pee peed yet!
    Bed- I had to move Charles because we had another baby. He was ok for a few months then reverted back to the pack n play then finally he slept on a mattress on the floor. He was 20 months I think when he started sleeping on the mattress.
    We didn't have a paci to deal with but I know many kids who give them to their younger baby sibling or to a close friend who is a baby. I've also heard the losing them method. You really have to figure out what works best for him and for you.
    Ask your pediatrician about each of these, they will give you help on if he is ready for those things. Mine always asks me certain questions about him in those areas and has always been very helpful to if Charles was ready for milestones or not. Sometimes he was and sometimes he wasn't ready, even though I was ready for him.
    good luck!

  7. Being a "not a mom yet" I don't have any paci stories of my own... but I know some.
    One friend of mine lost all but one of her son's pacis. Then they bought a really cool toy for him, and put it where he could see it on top of the fridge. But they got him to understand that he had to give his paci up forever before he could have the toy. After 2 weeks he decided he had to have that toy and gave up his paci without a fuss.
    Another friend spent a lot of time talking to her son about the poor babies across the ocean who had no pacis... then they "mailed" them one at a time to "Africa." They made a really big deal about it too... She said he cried a few times, then they talked about the poor babies who were so happy to get those pacis... and he was soon over it.
    I think both of those kids were a little older than Caedmon is now... closer to 3.
    Although you want him to get rid of it asap... there are LOTS of kids that use it until they are 5 or so. And you DON'T want him to start sucking his thumb if he isn't really ready to give up his bah. That is much harder to give up than a paci.