Top Ten Reasons I Wasn't An Olympian

We've watched a little more than our fair share of the Olympics at our house the last few days. I've never been that much into the summer games, but for some reason this year I'm loving it. Husband is too. And we have about four channels that are showing the Games at any given time. Not such a good thing.

As we were talking about our Olympic history the other day, I think we agreed that the last time either of us remembers watching the summer games was in 1996 when Keri Strug made her amazing vault and pulled the USA gymnastics team thru to a Gold.

And last night as we were watching (and maybe poking a little fun at some of the athletes), I started listing the reasons I didn't become an Olympic athlete. Because I'm so talented, the possibilities would've been endless.

So here they are, the Top Ten Reasons I Wasn't An Olympian.

• 10. 5:00. You mean there's one of those in the morning too?
• 9. Chocolate. I think that's pretty self explanatory.
• 8. The only thing I consistently do 8 hours a day is sleep.
• 7. Train. It's a mechanical thing on a track, not a job.
• 6. Glitter. It belongs on paper, not your face.
• 5. Too blind to see without contacts, which negates any swimming career.
• 4. It takes money. Lots and lots of it. Which I didn't have. Nor a mysterious wealthy benefactor. Or a government that took me from my family at age three.
• 3. Limited uniform choices. Really, there's only so much you can do with red, white, and blue.
• 2. Gold just isn't my color.
• 1. The hairstyle. There's no way I could a) fluff my hair enough to ice skate, b) use enough barrettes to be a gymnast, or c) fit all of my hair into a swimming cap. I mean, really. How much damage does that do?

But really, props to all the athletes who have committed themselves to working so hard to represent their respective countries. Just be glad I'm not there....