Things Nobody Tells You About Being Pregnant, Part 1: You Always Have to Pee

If you've ever been around a pregnant woman, you know that it seems like they always have to go pee. The only thing is, you're only getting a fraction of the real story. Let me give it to you straight.

When you're trying to get pregnant, you spend your time watching the calendar and feeling for any twinge that might mean that you've concieved. And one of the symptoms in all the books and on all the websites is "frequent urination." Can I just say that is one of the biggest understatements I have ever heard in my life?

Frequent, my butt. It's always. Always. Meaning that you always have to pee, even if you just went and it's been hours since any form of liquid passed your lips. Especially if you are, #1: comfortable, #2: sleeping, thinking about sleep, or completely unconscious, or #3: within earshot of any sort of running water.

I, like many others, learned this the hard way. I realized very soon after finding out we were expecting that I would probably never get a good night's sleep ever again in my life. I wasn't even 'showing' yet, and here the kid was already causing me to lose sleep because I had to get up at least once a night to go pee. At least once. And for those of you who know me, disrupting my sleep for a reason deemed unworthy is not a good thing. And I just don't count having to pee a worthy reason to have to get up in the middle of the night. Especially when I quit ingesting any sort of liquid two hours before bed.

Husband has managed to slip by mostly unscathed by this side-effect. I don't think he is very bothered by my ups and downs during the night. He shouldn't be - he's not the one having to crawl out of bed, stumble thru the dark to the toilet (avoiding the heater in the bathroom floor), making sure the seat is down, praying that the toilet paper roll isn't empty, then stumbling back to bed (missing the heater), crawling back in and struggling to get comfortable - all without opening your eyes more than the narrow slit required to see vague objects. Then the challenge of falling back asleep begins...sometimes successfully conquered, sometimes not. At least long enough to watch two or three episodes of whatever happens to be on TVLand.

The dogs were a bit disgruntled with my comings and goings at first. They didn't understand why I was getting up in the middle of the night and not letting them get up too. Now, if anything, I get the one-open-eye-look from Criket and the unhappy sigh from Argus. They've grown accustomed to it, I guess. I think we all have.

"They" say that during the second trimester, the urge to constantly have to pee wanes, and then comes back full force during the third trimester. I think "They" lie. Because I still have to pee.


Entire What Nobody Tells You Series:

Part 1: You Always Have To Pee
Part 2: Snot and Boogers
Part 3: Weight Gain
Part 4: Clothes and Fashion
Part 5: The Ugly Baby
Part 6: The Loaded Question
Part 7: The Gear
Part 8: Your Crazy Mind

And then:

Some Pregnancy Advice
Some MORE Pregnancy Advice