Hidden Talents

I’ve decided to take a break from the Dirt-Dishing Series to again embarrass myself.

We recently attended a 50’s party for our Pastor. He was turning 50, born in the 50’s…you get the idea. So, the Sports & Wellness Guy was asked to run some games on stage…that the staff had to participate in. While Husband jumped right in and volunteered for the bubble-blowing contest, I thought I had successfully flown under the radar – I hadn’t been asked to join the pie-eating or the limbo contest, and was quite pleased with myself. Until just a few days prior to the party. I went to a meeting. A plain, regular, meeting, and I was ambushed.

S&W Guy gave me no choice but to participate in the Hula Hoop Contest. In fact, he told me I was going to be a contestant and wouldn’t take “NO!” for an answer, and believe me, I tried.

Secretly, I was hoping that S&W Guy would find so many people that he wouldn’t need me. But alas, that did not happen. So, the party began and I was called by name in front of hundreds of people to come up on stage and participate in said contest.

We were given our hula hoops and told to begin. Imagine my surprise, when 30 seconds later, only one other participant and I were left. And the other participant was in 6th grade. So, just me and a 6th grader, up on stage in front of about a thousand people, hula hooping away, with my loving, caring, Pastor/boss pointing and laughing at me. So I thought it was over. Silly me. S&W Guy handed us a second hoop…and told us to go for it. The poor little 6th grader, as sweet as she is, didn’t have a chance. Those of us with hips are significantly better equipped to hula hoop. So, I was named champion/winner/queen of the hula hoop contest. Yay me.

On my way off the stage, as the Emcee made the announcement, “’Husband,’ come get your wife!” in an obvious and not unexpected attempt to embarrass me further. S&W Guy stopped me and said, “And you didn’t even want to do this!” My response was, “Exactly.” You know why? Because I haven’t heard the end of it since. We hadn’t even gotten out the door that evening before several people made a big deal about the fact that I could hula hoop, like it’s an evil thing. At the office this week, I have even been accused of cheating – and how you cheat at hula hooping, I will never know. I know we’re good ol’ Baptists…and maybe we’re not “supposed” to dance, but I never knew there was anything in the Baptist Faith and Message about knowing how to hula hoop. Let it die, people.

I’m sure that those who participated in the limbo, pie-eating, and bubble-blowing contests are not being tortured this week with their efficiency in those areas. I would like to see someone accuse Elmer (not his real name) of cheating at the pie-eating contest. And how would you cheat at that - eat pie? Doesn’t everyone eat pie? And goodness knows that everyone must’ve cheated at the bubble-blowing contest, because they’ve all probably chewed gum in the last month.

I mean, it’s not like I have a hula hoop at home and practice on a regular basis. Husband and I don’t host Friday Night Hula Hoop contests for the neighborhood. I don’t have prize hula hoops that I’ve won at competitions around the country. I haven’t hula hooped since about the fourth grade, believe it or not. But in the fourth grade, I could do it all, not just around the waist – around the neck, arm, ankle…I had it going on. I guess its sort of like riding a bike – you just don’t forget how to do it.

We all have hidden talents, and let’s face it…some of them should stay that way.