I’ve Come To Enjoy Breathing

I hope everyone had a good Labor Day weekend. Mine was full of snot. Literally.

Friday, my allergies hit me like a ton of bricks. I was fine when I got up but by 10am, I was stuffy, sneezing, and my eyes were watery and itchy. And it only got worse. We took Caedmon to see Despicable Me after naptime and I thought I would claw my eyes out before it was over. I thought Saturday would be better.

I was wrong.

There wasn’t much sleeping done Friday night. I was in that state where I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t blow my nose worth anything, but snot was slowly trickling out and there was nothing I could do to stop it. So I did the only thing I could and shoved some tissue up my nostril so I could sleep without fear of drowning. Go ahead and laugh. You know you’ve done it. Or wanted to.

I hardly got out of bed on Saturday. Nothing I did alleviated the allergies. Husband had to be gone for a while, but Caedmon was a trooper and brought his matchbox cars to my bed and played happily for a few hours while I dozed and watched Phineas and Ferb with him. I literally thought my head might explode. It might have felt better if it had.

I finally caved and decided I needed to try a Neti Pot. I’ve heard about them for a while, and have heard they are marvelous. And also weird. And let me just say, I am not a fan of putting stuff up my nose. I will hardly even use nose sprays. I had an Ear, Nose & Throat specialist once tell me he couldn’t help me if I wouldn’t use nose sprays, and I responded that surely he was a better doctor than that. And that my Momma had taught me not to put stinky things up my nose and at that moment I believed she was probably smarter than he was. But this time I was desperate. Husband was kind enough to go to the drugstore for me. I think it was because he would’ve been embarrassed if anyone had seen me in the state I was in. Or because he loves me.

I won’t lie, the Neti Pot is weird. And it helps. But I’ve decided that instead of gentle, gravity-driven pressure, I need something more akin to a fire hose. Maybe I should just get my deviated septum fixed, but every time I consider it, I think 1) it’s just weird to pay someone to break my nose to try to fix it. 2) It would hurt. A lot. And 3) I keep picturing the Friends episode where we find out about Rachel’s deviated septum/nose job and I just don’t know if I can do it.

Caedmon has also discovered the Neti Pot. Or that he likes to watch me use it. I don’t know which is worse, pouring stuff up your nose or having an audience who is asking questions you can’t answer because you’re pouring stuff up your nose.

Meanwhile, Caedmon has some snot going on too, but I’ve been dosing him up with antihistamines and he’s doing ok. I knew he wasn’t feeling great Saturday and Sunday when he spent hours during the day just laying in his bed watching Curious George. He loves his new room, and he loves George, but not that much. I must apologize to him for passing along my allergy to ragweed. It’s such a great thing to share.

Sunday wasn’t a whole lot better. I stayed in the bed much of the day and only got up when I had to. I’ll admit, it was nice to lay around, but it wasn’t really enjoyable due to all the misery and agony.

Monday, I decided that enough was enough. I still felt a bit like poop, but I got up and got a few things done. Caedmon and I even went to the grocery store while Husband watched football. Not much else got done, but at least we have food. And Caedmon has clean underwear.

Also, Caedmon is tired of me blowing my nose. Every time I reach for a tissue, he says, “No Momma, don’t do that” and covers his ears. In his defense, it sounds as if I am trying to force my brains through a single nostril. I’ll agree that it’s annoying, but Momma needs to breathe.

I’m hoping that whatever tropical storm that’s supposedly headed this way gives me (and all the other allergy sufferers) some temporary relief. I’ve come to enjoy breathing, and would like to be able to again.