Why Potty Training Reminds Me Of Having A Newborn

I have realized why I dreaded potty training so much. It wasn’t the extra laundry or the cleaning of bodily fluids. Let’s face it, Moms are used to that. But it has really cramped my style in several ways. A list, because I am too tired to put all the words together:

1. My independent child has suddenly become crazy dependent upon me and my ability to Mommy-sense when he needs to pee. It seems he used to do everything for himself and now we are suddenly at a stage where I have to be all over him all the time. I know it will eventually be over and he’ll be Mr. Independent again once he’s got this thing down cold, but it’s hard to imagine right now. Just like when I knew there would be a day Caedmon would be able to put his paci back in his mouth on his own, and when it came, I did a little happy dance.

2. I can’t leave the house. When Caedmon was a newborn, he ate every 3 hours. And a good 45 minutes of that time he was actually eating. So after 2 hours and 15 minutes, it was time to eat again. The countdown timer on the pee pee clock is shorter. And unreliable. As unreliable as Caedmon’s information about how badly he has to pee. And since he’s not practiced at using a big potty, public restrooms are, well, not a good idea. As if they were a good idea anyway.

3. I have ordered a “car potty”. That is all.

4. I can’t just grab and go. When he was nursing/eating baby food, getting ready to go somewhere was a chore. You had to have extra clothes, extra burp cloths, spoons, food, and all the stuff that goes along with all that other stuff. But since Caedmon was a “big boy” now, we were at the point where we just had to grab a few diapers and some wipes (that were usually already in the car anyway) and hit the road. Now I’m back to having to pack a bag before we leave – extra undies, extra clothes, extra shoes?, something to sit on in the carseat, plastic bags for wet things, etc. It takes forever.

5. If pacis are like crack for babies, M&Ms are like crack for toddlers. And instead of helping them calm down, they hype them up. Especially at 9pm when they were supposed to be asleep over an hour ago.

6. I am exhausted. Like, can’t make it without a nap exhausted. Constantly mentally hovering over the whole pee pee situation during the day along with Caedmon waking up super early (and/or staying up super late, also skipping naps) asking to go potty makes for a worn out Momma.

That all being said, Caedmon is doing spectacular. He definitely knows when he needs to go. He still doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing to go, though. Usually he will say, “I don’t want to pee pee in my undies!” And that’s your cue to make him go to the potty. Other than that, he’s got it down. He even wore his undies to church on Sunday and to Mimi's for the fish fry and stayed dry all day.

But Saturday, the boy was in full form. He’d done marvelously well when Husband took him out for a few hours in the morning, and I was hoping for a good naptime. Seriously, the boy played in his bed and yelled to go potty no less than 6 times over the course of 2 hours.

“Naptime/Bedtime potty rules” are such that the light stays off unless absolutely necessary, there’s minimal talking, and absolutely no toys/books. The first time he got up, I’d made it clear to him that this was not a game. During one of the subsequent potty trips where he was squeezing out 13 drops of pee so he could have an M&M, Caedmon looked at me and very seriously said, “Momma, this is not a game.” I almost busted out laughing. But the kicker is that he peed every single time except for the last time, when I declared him done and if he had to go any more, he’d just have to hold it until time to get up. Which was quickly approaching.

So at bedtime, I put him to bed and explained that he needed to go to sleep. No games, remember? Just a few minutes after I put him down, he was yelling to go potty. I got him up and took him. As he sat there trying to get me to name every item in the bathroom, I explained that I was going to get into the shower and I wouldn’t be able to take him to the potty again, so when we finished, he needed to just lay down in his bed and go to sleep. He looked up at me and said, “Daddy will take me.” Already playing the other-parent card.

He’s a smart boy, this one. Maybe I can convince him to use his powers for good…the good which is also potty trained and independent again.