An Open Letter

Dear Monday,

Please do me a favor and refrain from kicking my tail today. Last week was a bit off-kilter, and I’d really prefer to start things off on a good note this week.

Dear Global Warming,

I’m so glad you’re real. Because with single-degree high temperatures and ungodly wind chills last week, I’d hate to think what things would be like if you weren’t around. Thanks for looking out for us.

Dear Local Schools,

Please let the kids come back. I get that there were a few days last week that required closings. But were all 4 days out necessary? I think not. And even though I don’t have a child in school, your closings affect me greatly. Because they close Kids Day Out. And I need me some KDO this week.

Dear Stores That Sell Sleds,

I’d think you would’ve learned by now that when there are 17 snow flakes, people will buy bread, milk, bottled water, and sleds like their life depended on it. Running out of sleds in the middle of winter probably isn’t that good for business. On the other hand, Home Depot hooked us up with a concrete mixing pan that did the trick. (I bought Caedmon some actual snow boots this week, just in case you were wondering. No more Walmart sacks taped to his feet.)

Dear Nintendo,

As much as I love the Wii, I have to wonder at the wisdom of creating a game device that eats batteries like candy. Oh, you want to sell me the charging accessories, that’s it. Well played, Nintendo. Well played. Because I will buy chargers instead of spending the entire grocery budget on enough batteries to play all week.

Dear Spring TV Season,

I have high hopes for you. But I’m a bit apprehensive about Ellen on American Idol. With the last season of LOST starting in just a few weeks, the entire spring lineup a high standard to adhere to. Don’t let me down.

Sincerely,

Superchikk