Sunday, November 11, 2007

Inviting Trouble or Why You Should Never Change a Crib Sheet Unless You Have To

Let me tell you a story. A story of a Mom who thought she was getting ahead, when in fact, all she did was invite trouble.

Chickster and I were having a good morning. He'd slept well the night before, and we woke up refreshed (as refreshed as you can be when a good night is getting up only twice during the night) and ready for the day. After Chickster's breakfast, we went into his room and dressed him in a cute outfit. As he hung out in his swing, I decided to get a few things done. I refilled the wipes and diapers, and put a few things away. Then I decided that since I was about to do a load of laundry, I'd go ahead and change Chickster's crib sheet.

The sheet hadn't been changed in a while, and I figured that there was enough slobber on it to justify changing it. Now, some of you know that changing a crib sheet is no fun task. The bumper pads are a pain, the side rails are in the's just not fun. As I was changing it, I was laughing to myself, thinking that just as soon as I change this, we'll have a reason to change it again. But surely not since we were having such a great morning.

I finished my tasks and put Chickster down for a nap. He went off to sleep quickly with no fussing and without spitting his pacifier out 879 times. Great morning. Clean sheets, sleeping baby. About 15 minutes later, I heard Chickster fussing. That was unusual for him, so I went to check. He'd spit his paci out, so I plugged it back in and for good measure gave his rear a courtesy sniff. Yep, dirty. So I got him up and we made our way to the changing table.

As I started to unsnap his outfit (and underlying onesie), I thought I felt something damp, then thought nah, I just brushed up against one of the snaps on his pants. As I delved deeper into the diaper change, I realized that I had indeed felt something damp. A lot of something damp. And gross. Yes, he'd busted out of his diaper. Out the side - and as I prepared to take his diaper off, I realized he'd oozed up the back, too. Not just a little, though. Oh no. When we do something around here, we do it all the way. The ooze had made it almost all the way up to his armpits. Poor guy - no wonder he was fussing.

The overlying outfit had snaps up the front, so it came off easily. The onesie, however, had to go over his head. Yeah. So I managed to get that off with minimal ooze transfer, and decided that he needed more cleaning than a wet wipe could provide. So I wrapped him in a blanket and we headed for the bathroom with the baby wash and a wash cloth. He laid on my lap as I cleaned him up, all the while trying to keep him covered as much as possible - to keep him warm and to protect myself from any projectile liquid that might show itself. We finished up in the bathroom, and headed back to the bedroom to get him dressed - again. I felt a wet spot on my leg, and figured I'd dripped some water on myself. And then I found it on the blanket. I realized that the blanket had indeed protected me from a squirt, and walked back into the bathroom to find a small puddle on the floor too. What the heck? How did it get all the way down there? We have one talented little boy. So now I needed to change clothes, too. Great morning.

So we re-dressed with no further incendents, and I put Chickster on his playmat as I checked the bed. He uses a sleep positioner thing to keep him from wiggling all over the bed - it had been oozed. There was a hint of ooze on the blanket he'd been covered with. So I moved that stuff, and yep, ooze essence on the crib sheet. Great morning.

Now, up until this point, I'd been thinking about how this had totally messed up his nap, and that I hoped he would be able to go back to sleep eventually, and it was a shame to mess up such a great morning nap. Now that I saw the ooze essence on the sheet and realized that I'd have to change not only the sheet, but the underlying mattress cover, I started laughing. It was all a bit much. I couldn't have planned this if I'd tried. I mean, I knew I was probably asking for it by changing the sheet when it wasn't absolutely necessary, but I didn't expect all of this. Chickster probably thought I was off my rocker, but being the sweetheart that he is, he just cooed back at his crazy Mommy.

So I've learned my lesson. I'll never change another crib sheet without a really good reason, because obviously changing it without one is just asking for trouble. But how can you be upset when this is the smile you get in return? Great morning! Pin It


  1. Curly3:46 PM

    I think we will call him Alfalfa since his hair is always sticking up!

  2. You might check with Deputy Guy on that - he's pretty insistent on calling him Caveman.

  3. A little additional won't be long and you will want to take the same approach to mopping the kitchen floor! Anytime we ever cleaned the kitchen floor someone spilled koolaid before the end of the day. Not just a little sip of koolaid, but a whole pitcher full usually!
    So my approach kitchen floor mopping until AFTER the koolaid was spilled!

  4. I already don't mop the floor unless we stick to it so badly we can't walk. Think that counts?