Alligators

Mom said it best in her comment on Monday, "...you are up to your neck in alligators...." That's exactly the way I feel. Over the last few months, things have seemed to become more and more vicious...and I honestly don't see any back-up on the way.

That's an optimistic view, isn't it? But let me tell you...when you leave work and make a wrong turn to go to your own house, there's a problem. It's called, "brain fry." It's when your brain must, by the end of the day, resemble a large chunk of fried chicken. I'm not exactly sure how it happens, other than the fact that people asking stupid questions about something that was made abundantly clear is just like pouring gravy over it.

I actually got home last night and reveled in the fact that for the first time all day, I didn't have to think about anything or make any decisions. Not even for dinner - because there was one of my anal lists on the side of the refrigerator letting me know the three things that were available. Another list next to it told me what chores I needed to do in order for my house not to look like a heap of crap. I actually managed to do the tasks on my list without the phone ringing, someone asking me a dumb question, or someone interrupting me. It was bliss. I never thought I would say that about Swiffering the dog hair off the floor.

My poor dogs are suffering from the fact that by the time I get home at night I’m completely wiped and have no desire to wrestle a slimy racquet ball from their vice-like jaws and throw it thousands of times. Actually, they’ll drop the ball if I tell them to, but they prefer to run in circles around me, teasing me with it. It’s more fun that way, I suppose. But alas, they are getting little fun from me as of late. I’m sure that when I get home, they think, “Great. There’s the boring one. I hope she remembers to feed us.”

So, if any of you see Steve Erwin around anywhere, please send him my way. I know I’m not wrestling crocodiles here, but I’m sure the same concept applies. Throw a top-jaw rope, some duct tape, and a large tarp on some folks and I’ll be all good.