This is a question I’ve asked for a very long time. But last night took the cake.
Honor has been through phases of terrible bedtimes. Ok, so maybe this phase has been going on since she was 16 months old. It’s been a long phase. I keep telling myself it’s a phase because that means it will be over one day. One day, she will JUST GO TO BED. No fighting, no fussing, no crying or whining, no getting out of bed 873 times. No parking myself at the top of the stairs with a wooden spoon. No sneaking up the stairs to catch her in the playroom long after she was supposed to be sleeping. No hearing Caedmon yell, “Mom! Honor’s in my room!” thirty minutes after lights out. One day. One day, both my children will sleep.
(Don’t crush my dreams, ok?)
The past few nights have been particularly challenging. Honor has been extra resistant at bedtime, and it’s about driven me to the brink of insanity. Who am I kidding? I was pretty close already. But last night? Last night was it. And I mean it.
I was worn out. I finally dragged myself to bed a little after 9pm, which is way earlier than I usually go to bed, and over an hour after Honor had “gone to bed.” (Yes, in quotation marks. Because she clearly hadn’t actually gone to bed.) As soon as I got settled under the covers, her shrill little voice yelled “Mom!” from the top of the stairs.
I joked with Husband that she must have a sensor that went off as soon as I got into bed. Because it seems that no matter when I get in the bed, she yells for me. It could be 9pm or midnight…she will yell.
I got up and walked to the bottom of the stairs. She was looking down at me from behind the gate at the top. I asked what she wanted. The words that came out of her mouth both made me want to laugh hysterically and scream at the same time, “Mom, why did you try to go to bed?”
That’s exactly what I did. I tried to go to bed. I suppose I just need to quit trying to go to bed. Maybe that’s the whole problem.