For The Birds

I noticed a few weeks ago that a bird had made a nest in our grill. And was totally grossed out by it. So I did what any normal person would do who was grossed out at the thought of a bird living in their grill. I ignored it.

And it did not go away. Imagine that.

In fact, it got worse. Because said bird became a mommy.

Yeah. Baby birds in our grill. *shudder*

So I decided that something was to be done, and I wanted Husband to take care of it. Aren’t I a good wife? Husband’s idea was to just haul the grill to the street and let the trash man have it. That, I could not do. Because even though there were birds in the grill, I knew it could be sufficiently sterilized. I just didn’t want to do it.

(I can handle all sorts of nastiness. Poop. Puke. Mice. Mystery substances. Birds? No thank you.)

And if y’all know Husband, you know he has germ issues bordering on OCD. In fact, just this morning he washed his hands 3 times within a five minute period. No joke. When we talked about cleaning the grill, he said that no matter how clean we got it, he wasn’t sure he could look at the food that had come off the grill without thinking there was “bird essence” on it.

(He also borders on the dramatic.)

Before we did anything, I had to see what was up with the birds, though.

(If you have a bird phobia, you might want to scroll down quickly.)

Ok, so admittedly, the cover had seen better days. Not even Duck Tape was able to help that sad thing.

This is the back, where the bird somehow managed to find a way into the grill.

I pulled the cover off and saw this. I knew it could not be a good thing.

I opened it up and moved back really fast. I don’t know why, really. Maybe I thought they were going to jump out and attack or something. They didn’t. They did kind of hiss at me though. I didn’t know birds could hiss. You learn something new every day.

Grossed out yet? Yeah, me too.

Ya’ll need to understand something. I enjoy having a grill, and I’ve loved this one. But I am the one who does all the grilling at our house. Husband has slightly less than zero interest in hovering over a blazing hot grill, standing out in the sun on the deck. And that’s ok. I like to grill. But it’s really hard to manage with a curious boy, and I can imagine how much harder it would be with an infant too.

We determined we’d offer the grill to Mom and Dad. They could have it as long as they were willing to take the birds with them. It was an offer they couldn’t refuse. Because who doesn’t want a grill complete with hissing birds?

So they game and got the grill. I did not really want to ask what happened to the birds. Use your imagination. I just know they’re not at my house anymore. And the grill has had a thorough cleansing. I’m glad it can be put to good use. But I’m glad I didn’t have to be the one to clean it.

Because birds? They’re for the birds.