NNNewman

I haven't said much lately about our mailman. I was trying to stick to the old saying, "If you can't say something nice...."

After the broken mailbox (which I finally got out there and replaced), things have just continued to go downhill.

For some reason, Newman seems to have trouble closing this mailbox. Maybe it's because when he tries to violently slam it shut (maybe that's how my OTHER mailbox got broken?), it doesn't exactly stick. The thing's made of plastic, so you have to actually close it. But at least he hasn't torn it up yet.

And we constantly get someone else's mail now. At first, it was the next door neighbor's. No biggie - I just walked it over and dropped it in her box.

And then it started happening all the time. And I wouldn't notice it until I got back in the house, which meant I had to pick C back up and schlep over to the neighbor's to deliver their mail. You know, what Newman gets paid to do.

But it gets better. We started getting some guy's mail who doesn't even live in our neighborhood. Yeah, that's right. Some guy that lives down the highway a bit was missing his mail because it was being delivered to our house. Stellar, Newman. Just stellar.

So, being the me that I am, I filed a complaint with the USPS.

Oh yes I did.

And someone called me. They wanted more details about our "mis-delivered" mail. Then we got a letter. In the letter was a giant red sticker they wanted me to put on my mailbox, reminding Newman to check the mail before he puts it in the box.

Um, isn't that what he's supposed to do ANYWAY?

I didn't put the sticker on. Sorry, I don't really feel like I should have to remind him to do his job. If he'd like to put his own little reminder sticker on, more power to him.

Plus, I feel like that's just asking for it. Like the nerd who tucks his shirt into his tightie-whities. He's just asking for a wedgie. There's no need to put a target like that on my back. Or my mailbox.

Things got better for a while. And by "a while," I mean about three days.

And then we started getting that same random guy's mail again. Only this time it was two ENORMOUS packages that Newman had to wedge into our mailbox.

Hello?! It's not even my mail and it took more effort to jam it into the box than it would've to check and see if it was even mine. Genius.

So what did I do? I wrote a nice little Post-It note on those packages, jammed them back in the box, and left them for Newman to pick up the next day.

And then I promptly got back on the internet and sent in another complaint.

I received an email stating that I would receive a call from my local Post Office within the next business day.

Yeah, that was over a week ago. No call. But also no more random guy's mail. Which is good. I'm happy. But don't even be bringing that guy's mail back to my house.

Because then I might have to put down the lipstick and get some junk taken care of.