Other People's Snot

It's a strange thing, snot. Everyone has it, yet we all consider it to be gross. Well, at least we consider other people's to be gross. Our own is gross too, but definitely not to the level of that belonging to someone else. For some reason, your body thinks it's necessary, although when it is abundant supply it is quite annoying. I'm sure it serves its purpose, I just sometimes wish I knew what that purpose was.

I've experienced some snot in my day. Little kid snot, dog snot, horse snot (don't ever get sneezed on by a horse), the list goes on. And it comes in a rainbow of colors, too. Yeah, gross, I know. It is especially gross when it doesn't belong to you and it gets on you. How is it that you manage to keep your own snot off of you, going from nose to tissue with fairly little transfer, but a little kid's snot ends up all over your shirt? Wouldn't you think that would be the other way around just because of proximity? Anyway, snot seems to be a fact of life, and I haven't yet figured out a way around it.

Like now, for instance. I have escaped the fall allergy season in pretty good shape. A little sneezing and snotting here and there, but nothing like what I usually experience. And when I do have loads of the slimy stuff stuck up in my head, I usually suck it up (literally) and go on, not really thinking that much about it. Right now is one of those times when it's there, but not really a bother, so I just go on about my business. But yesterday I came to think of snot in a whole new way.

Chickster has acquired some snot of his own. And as he is only three months old, he can't 1) suck it up (literally or figuratively), 2) blow it out, or 3) breathe from his mouth. So that makes the whole snot issue a bit more challenging. He's always been a little stuffy at night, but daytimes have been just fine - until yesterday.

The poor thing sounds terrible - the snot rockets rattling around in his head willy nilly has to be irritating. It irritates me, anyway. So we tried the whole blue-snot-sucker-bulb thing. Whoever invented those is probably a pretty smart person. However, it becomes irritating when you're trying to suck snot out of an infant's nose, and it's just beyond reach. You can only jam that thing so far up their nostril, you know. Probably for a good reason - wouldn't want to accidentally suck his brain out. So when that failed to do much good, I decided that a two-pronged approach was needed. So I went to the store and picked up some infant nose saline drops. Yeah. That just sounds fun, doesn't it? Oh, it is.

What gets me is the instructions. You're supposed to lay your baby on your lap and without touching the nozzle to their nose, squirt 2-6 drops up each nostril. Then, you're supposed to leave the baby laying on your lap for 1-2 minutes (do you know how long that is in crying-baby time?), then wipe their nose or use the sucker thing. Really? This is a case where the people who wrote the instructions have obviously never tried to follow them. It's impossible. I know - germ transfer and the like - but seriously. There's no way in Hades this stuff is getting squirted up his nose without touching it. And I seriously doubt he would be still on my lap for 1-2 minutes unless he was sleeping, not to mention just having had some nose juice squirted up his nostril. So I squirted. He sputtered. I suctioned. Snot flowed. Breathing was made a bit easier. At least for a minute - until I had to do the other side.

But the thing about snot is that no matter how much you blow out of your head, there always seems to be more to take its place. Thus the case with Chickster all day yesterday and all night. Poor guy had trouble napping yesterday (the whole breathing thing), so I ended up holding him upright during his afternoon nap while he snoozed away. Then we elevated one end of his mattress before bedtime, and that seems to have done the trick. He slept pretty decently last night, with a few pauses for the dreaded blue sucker thing when he got up to eat. This morning was another snotfest, but I suppose being able to breathe is important, as he seemed to feel better afterwards. And he's really been good natured about it all so far. He doesn't scream his head off while he's having a blue pipe jammed up his nose, nearly sucking his brains out. I would. And maybe he will eventually. Right now it all seems to be a novelty, but I'm sure that will wear off soon. You can only make a game out of it for so long before they catch on that it really isn't fun.

You know the weird thing about it? It doesn't really seem that gross. Well, it is gross, but it doesn't bother me that much. You always hear people say, "When it's your own kid...." and you think, "Yeah, right. You're nuts." I'm not quite there yet, but I will say it seems to be less gross than horse snot. And though it has to be repeated several times a day, there's something nice about helping your kid breathe - since that is a necessity for life, you know.

Well, I'm off to the shower. Chickster is napping, and I need to wash the excess snot and pee pee (he got me before his bath this morning) off. Ah, the joys of motherhood!