I Was Just Wondering...

There is a certain sandwich place (the one that prefers to toast their subs) that currently is running a commercial for their newest sandwich. They say that if you aren't 100% satisfied, they'll give you another sandwich. Hello?! If I'm not 100% satisfied, why would I want another one of your sandwiches? Who determines the level of satisfaction? And if I was only 93% satisfied, would you only give me 7% of another sandwich? How do you know if you are 87% satisfied or 100% satisfied? Do they make you fill out a questionnaire before they give you the free sub? Do they input this questionnaire into a computer that figures your level of satisfaction for you? Really people, come on.

Could I sue a certain mega-retailer for false advertising? I got a flyer in the mail today, and on the front cover is a certain oh-so-hot-right-now toy. They say that this toy is also available on their website. Just for kicks, I went on their site and checked. Oh, I found the fuzzy little monster, but it says "temporarily unavailable online" where the "add to my cart" button should be. But my flyer says I can purchase him online! What if I was in desperate need of a red furry monster? What's a girl to do? I know for a fact the store shelves have been cleared of this little guy since he made his appearance last week, and I obviously can't purchase him online either. Liars, all of them! Think my suit would hold up? Maybe if I had Denny Crane as my attorney.