Tuesday, June 07, 2005

To Mow or Not to Mow?

Apparently this is a question that our neighbor struggles with, our new Non-English Speaking Neighbor. Remember, we made his yard "smaller," so I really don't see what the issue is. I have solved the mowing question quite simply; My brother now mows for us. He's awesome by the way, so if you need your yard done, give him a call.

As Non-English Speaking Neighbors were moving in, he mowed the front yard - all at once. They let the back yard go for a few more days until they got settled. No biggie - I probably would've done the same thing. The problem is that they have been there for about two weeks now and they have mowed the back yard EACH DAY since then. That's right. And there are still sections of the yard that have yet to be touched by the blades of the mower.

How is this possible? I'll tell you. He mows in spurts. He starts the mower, mows for 30 seconds - 1 minute, then turns the mower off. Then, 30 seconds to 2 minutes later, starts it back up again and mows. This continues for as long as he has the patience for, I guess, because there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. The other night, he fired his mower up at 9pm and mowed on and off until about 9:30. It had gotten so dark, I actually peeked out the window to see if he had a third hand to hold a flashlight to see where he was going. He was just mowing away, darkness falling all around him, not a care in the world.

I'm sure we were not the only neighbors who thought his late-evening mowing was strange. Orange Truck Guy and Girl were probably trying to put their kids to bed. Can you imagine that conversation? "Ok kids, time for bed," says Orange Truck Girl. And Orange Kid #1 responds, "But Mommy, the neighbor is still mowing his yard and it's loud." Orange Truck Girl sighs and says, "I know sweetheart, he's an idiot."

Husband lay in the bed during the evening mowing and plotted revenge; his plan was to drag our mower into the back yard and crank it up about 3am and let it run until the gas runs out. The only problem is that it would punish the other sensible neighbors who mow their yards during the day. However, if we were to get some kind of neighborhood plan going, we could all drag our mowers out and start them at 3am...that would be something to hear!

All I know is this: I will be sleeping in tomorrow. If Non-English Speaking Neighbor Guy fires up that stupid mower in the morning, he'll be glad he doesn't speak English. Pin It

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